No, We Aren’t Having Orgies, Thank You Very Much

This is a general, random posting on the current ongoings and fumblings of the Body Pride Workshop Parties.

First of all: There are no orgies. Trust me. I am an instigator of orgies and this is neither the place nor the time for girl orgies to be occurring. Sorry to all of the hopeful and creative sexual minds of men and women.

Second of all: Some of the feedback we have gotten so far,

“Ladies, thank you for such a fantastic night last night. It was so empowering hearing all your stories and learning from them. I will always remember that party. It was a joy meeting you all and I really hope our paths cross again in the future. I woke up this morning feeling (a little hung over) but also so refreshed and feeling like I learned so much about myself. My roommates should get ready because I feel like I will be doing a whole lot more naked dancing around the apartment.”

“‎I’m rating this as a 10! It was so refreshing to be exposed to girls in their ABSOLUTE truest form! I felt like I was in one of those Dove Real Women ad’s but like a reality version hahahaha. It’s really great to be around real people with real stories, because everyone’s sharing real stories that you can probably relate to in some way or another. It’s was so liberating! Feeling a slight boost of naked confidence now.”

And most influential to my Superwoman ego:

“you’ve enlightened me in a way my therapy and group counseling never did.”

Now. About the booze, because this seem to come up a lot. These ‘parties’ are workshops in the sense that you walk away having gained/learned/grown or whatever have you. It’s hard not to. You are experiencing something that you have not experienced before. And who knows, maybe you grew up in a nudist colony and have absolutely no problem hanging out in the nood with your BFF’s. BUT, this party will be a new experience for you regardless, because: a) I’m the host, and the creation of these parties has developed from the creative, spiritual, and ‘my-mother-trained-me-to-host-properly’ part of my mind – as well as the colorful and comfortable right brains of Stella and Khadeja, b) because… I don’t know, I’m like… teaching you shit, or something…

WHY I DON’T WANT THEM TO JUST BE WORKSHOPS:

1. Every workshop I’ve been to has bright lights, things to distract me and I often get distracted by shiny clothes, how many times the ‘teacher’ uses the word ‘actually,’ and the seam of my jeans. Heh (side note: previous sentence was a really good example of why the Oxford Comma is a useful tool…)

2. I don’t know about you, but every experience thus far in my adult life that has brought reason to ‘celebrate’, there has been some form of alcohol involved. Always. DONT ASK ME WHY. This isn’t a blog about the history of alcohol consumption. It’s a blog about sex and body and relationships and all that junk that is more fun than history. Celebration = booze. Unless you are in AA or are allergic… It’s a general human tradition. A rite of passage occurs and we fuck up our minds to see the world differently. Being naked and happy and accepting with each other seems like a damn good reason to celebrate, if you ask me.

3. Parties are fun. It’s how we bond. We drink, loosen our tongues, pour out all of our secrets to each other, and now we are best friends. It’s just how it works. For some reason, we become closer when we let go of inhibition, are slightly vulnerable and get chatty. And naked.

The above reasons are why there will continue to be alcohol provided at our Body Pride Workshop Party’s.

I am no Sexual Education God (…yet). I don’t meditate every day, I don’t read as much as I should, I don’t know how to orgasm with my mind (JEEZE CAITLIN. Seriously?! You don’t know how to orgasm with your MIND?! WTF is wrong with you!), I’ve done stupid things, I have stupid stories, I’ve done drugs and smoked cigarettes and had sex with people I didn’t want to have sex with. And these reasons, my darlings, are exactly why you should come and hang out with me in the buff.

This is where it gets all deep and weird and when my small amount of meditation and spiritual texts actually come into play:

It doesn’t matter.

Just let go, and let it be.

And, from the wise tattoo I got when I was probably far too young, spontaneous and silly to be getting tattoo’s (nothing has changed…), “Love and do what you will.”

Eh. There it is.

Now come get naked and party with us.

Dan Savage & His God-Like Powers

What a guy.

It is as if someone has handed a beaming stick of light to Mr. Savage and said “Sonny Boy, within this here said stick lies the power to create meaning and intention within language. By me giving you this glowing wand of awesome, you will kick ass in so many ways.”

And he took that stick. Did he ever take that stick. (All innuendo intended.)

As I hopped onto the streetcar yesterday, I chose a seat that was pleasing to my personal Feng-Shui and happened upon NOW magazine flipped open to the back wherein lies the never tiring Savage Love column.

Rick Santorum is running a presidential campaign. This is him on military and gay.

Google ‘Rick Santorum’ and the second link down is where you can witness the power of Dan Savage.

‘Spreading Santorum’ is now defined as “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.”

Now, it is a personal goal to try and avoid fighting fire with fire, and I’m not going to say that I necessarily support the mission of turning someone’s name into a visually and viscerally unappealing sort of sexual discharge. But, reading this last article in NOW, I have to say, not only was I kind of really impressed (as I march forward altering the negative associations revolving around the word ‘slut’) but I laughed heartily in public, and that, to me, is like a distant telepathic high-five to Mr. Savage.

An excerpt:

“You know what gave me a sad? Reading about Janice Langbehn and Lisa Pond. The women, together 18 years, were vacationing in Florida […] when Pond suffered an aneurysm. Langbehn and [their] children were barred from Pond’s room when they arrived at the hospital. A social worker informed Langbehn – who was distraught – that she wouldn’t be able to see her wife because they were in an ‘anti-gay city and state.'”

A Twitter commenter: Time to follow through on your threat to redefine ‘rick,’ Dan.

“Already done: to ‘rick’ is to remove something with your tongue – the ‘r’ from ‘remove,’ and the ‘ick’ from ‘lick’ – which makes ‘rick santorum” the most disgusting two-word sentence in the English language after “vote Repuplican.”

Tell me you didn’t laugh. At least a little.

PARTY DATES WHAT!

BODY PRIDE PARTY DATES:

Tuesday Jan. 24th, 2011, 6pm (7 spots open)
Thursday Feb. 2nd, 2011, 6pm (9 spots open)
Wednesday Feb. 15th, 2011, 6pm (10 spots open)
Thursday March 1st, 2011, 6pm (10 spots open)

Please contact me to sign up for a date (ck.roberts@hotmail.com). There is a limit on the amount of lovely ladies that can come and we’s a gots ta stay organized!

Oh Oscar. The things you do to me.

What is happening:

In addition to you and all other party comers, there will be myself – a roaring and raging nude-o-holic. Stella May, who is my parter-in-crime and body positive beaming slutty light, and my sexy photographer goddess Khadeja. Now – as mentioned in the blog post (https://tobeaslut.com/2011/12/30/body-pride-round-1-so-do-we-just-get-naked/) about how we came to the party terms, having your fantastic birthday suit photographed is completely up to you, BUT, in case you want to check things out from another perspective, Khadeja is a professional photographer, here to make you look effin’ spectacular.

There will be a ‘party bag’ fee, the price of which is still being worked out, but it will include: a ‘to be a slut’ thong, a small towel, access to wine/beer/scotch and whatever other goodies I feel like throwing at you.

(Another note, if the parties are in high demand, more dates will be added, we want to see as many naked bodies as possible!)

Join the Facebook group for updates!

Body Pride Round 1: So… Do we just… get naked?

And so. It has begun.

The epic Body Pride parties are underway.

Last night I met with Stella May, a lovely, young, pro-sexy chiquita who contacted me about holding naked events the day after I posted my naked body on the internet, “Will girls send in their own pics or is there going to be a happy naked girl party with lots of cameras?” And the lightbulb started flashing like my brain was in the middle of an 80’s rave.

“OMG

THAT IS A WONDERFUL IDEA!!”

I do not use acronyms lightly.

The visions of slightly emulating the whole concept of the Bodysex workshop was titillating and the excitement without boundary. Continue reading “Body Pride Round 1: So… Do we just… get naked?”