JennaMarbles: Slut Edition

Dear Jenna,

My name is Caitlin Roberts, and I am a slut.

By your definition, I suppose I am a retired slut, but I still hold on dearly to the title.

There have been many enlightening responses to your latest video regarding your confusion about the choices sluts make. Laci Green and Haley G Hoover have put together very informative monologues (if you haven’t watched them, I recommend you do, they both still love you).

Alas, as I am letting it be known to the entire internet world through this blog, I am a slut. A very happy and contented slut. So it feels only appropriate that a slut respond to your curiosities.

I started my slut-hood at a young age, some would say. Which came with its own set of problems, much similar to the ones you mentioned in your videos. I had low self-esteem as a teenager in regards to my physical appearance and would often make imbalanced choices that seemed, at the time, like they may boost this problem (a problem that every single girl goes through unless you’ve come out of the womb as a mutant sexpot mix of Aphrodite and Marilyn Monroe).

Now, ideally, no young woman should gain her self confidence by having sex with various partners. But, unfortunately, there are no great systems available to those same young women informing them that they are indeed attractive and beautiful. Nor are there many that will just sit them down and tell them how friggin’ smart or intelligent they are.

And maybe it was not the best way to absorb this information, but after a week in Cuba at 18, my confidence meter was pretty arrogant.

And, although I did consume alcohol on that trip, I was sober every time I made the decision to sleep with someone. Actually, I was completing a crossword at 9pm while drinking coffee at a piano bar during one of those decision-making times. (Yeah… I was odd for an 18-year-old on a parentless trip to a hot island.)

For a few years after this revelation of my own personal awesomeness, I continued to have frequent casual sex. Either with people I was dating, or people I had met just for the night. I was very content and happy with my sexual lifestyle. I was introduced to non-monogamy very early and the concept appealed to me tenfold. Why? I wanted to have sex. I didn’t want to force myself to fall in love with someone I only maybe liked a little bit. But I definitely could have sex with that person, respect them, make them coffee in the morning and high five them on their way out the door for an epic evening of epicness.

getlaid

In my personal opinion, acknowledging a physical desire and making (responsible) choices to care for and cherish those desires built more integrity in my character than feigning love with someone who didn’t bother me too much.

Now, I am all too aware that this is not the lifestyle choice of everybody (my mother reminds me daily). And now that I am wrapped within the warm and fuzzy bounds of a monogamous relationship with someone I am head over heels in love with, it is a very long ways away that my mind could even contemplate enjoying a sexual encounter with someone other than my husband.

But yet, I still do not give up my slut title. Why, you might ask?

Because I am a firm believer that if I am making sexual choices that are informed (meaning I understand and recognize what the potential consequences may be) and I am happy and content with those choices, and this what being a slut is, than yes. I am STILL a slut.

I just wanted to let you know that I thought I was in the wrong. That although I was happy with my decisions, every time I woke up the next morning I was slapped in the face by what society was telling me: that I was unworthy because I was letting so many people close to my body, that because I wasn’t in love my sexuality was dirty, that giving into my desires was irregular and that I should have had more self-control.

But this was because nobody told me otherwise. I had nothing else to bank off except my mothers beliefs, the media, and what the school system was teaching me. I had to go looking for information. I very recently had a 16-year-old girl tell me that after reading my article about virginity, it was the first time in 2 years that she did not feel guilt or shame about losing her v-card.

My point here is that unless you had gone looking for information about slut-shaming or rape culture, you likely had no idea about the intricately woven story that is ‘promiscuous’ female sexuality. And although not ideal for someone speaking to so many young women, I can truly understand how you would have not been informed.

I guess we could say that my Christmas wish to you, dear Jenna, is that you, hopefully, may have gained an insight after this onslaught of people making you videos and writing you internet letters, and may be able to inform all the other girls out there who also don’t know this information exists, and perhaps relieve them of any fear or shame of their sexual choices and take the blame off of those that are victims of sexual assault.

I would be a very happy camper if this could come true.

Sincerely yours,

Caitlin the Slut.

slut

Motion 312 – Sign the Petition

Motion M-312 will be considered by Parliament at the end of April 2012 and voted on in late spring or early fall. The motion poses a real danger to abortion rights, to the rights of all pregnant women, and to women’s equality rights in general. It is motivated solely by anti-abortion ideology. The intent is to bestow legal personhood on fetuses in order to re-criminalize abortion.

Let’s make sure this doesn’t happen. Sign the petition.

Other Options…

This is what girls do when people don’t show up to workshops…

costumes, anyone?

Outfits courtesy of Misha Lovelock, a ‘sextanista’ to the death.

As a sidenote: This is not a workshop. This is just fun. Super sexy fun.

And some of you may say: BUT CAITLIN. Why advertise this on your website that advocates healthy body-mind relationships full of healing, learning and consensual experiences? Doesn’t it seem kind of backwards, flakey and like you aren’t an adult who is in control of this potential website-boom that could likely make you famous??

A) Maybe. In your mind. If naughty outfits with awesome ladies equates with unprofessional.

B) Wouldn’t it be wildly hypocritical of me to not express and be proud of my own sexuality when I am trying to promote such things in others?!

Yes. Yes it would.

Tune in next week when Caitlin dresses up like a clown and starts sexily popping balloons.

Get it while it’s hot, gooberfaces. Soon this junk won’t be for free.

No, We Aren’t Having Orgies, Thank You Very Much

This is a general, random posting on the current ongoings and fumblings of the Body Pride Workshop Parties.

First of all: There are no orgies. Trust me. I am an instigator of orgies and this is neither the place nor the time for girl orgies to be occurring. Sorry to all of the hopeful and creative sexual minds of men and women.

Second of all: Some of the feedback we have gotten so far,

“Ladies, thank you for such a fantastic night last night. It was so empowering hearing all your stories and learning from them. I will always remember that party. It was a joy meeting you all and I really hope our paths cross again in the future. I woke up this morning feeling (a little hung over) but also so refreshed and feeling like I learned so much about myself. My roommates should get ready because I feel like I will be doing a whole lot more naked dancing around the apartment.”

“‎I’m rating this as a 10! It was so refreshing to be exposed to girls in their ABSOLUTE truest form! I felt like I was in one of those Dove Real Women ad’s but like a reality version hahahaha. It’s really great to be around real people with real stories, because everyone’s sharing real stories that you can probably relate to in some way or another. It’s was so liberating! Feeling a slight boost of naked confidence now.”

And most influential to my Superwoman ego:

“you’ve enlightened me in a way my therapy and group counseling never did.”

Now. About the booze, because this seem to come up a lot. These ‘parties’ are workshops in the sense that you walk away having gained/learned/grown or whatever have you. It’s hard not to. You are experiencing something that you have not experienced before. And who knows, maybe you grew up in a nudist colony and have absolutely no problem hanging out in the nood with your BFF’s. BUT, this party will be a new experience for you regardless, because: a) I’m the host, and the creation of these parties has developed from the creative, spiritual, and ‘my-mother-trained-me-to-host-properly’ part of my mind – as well as the colorful and comfortable right brains of Stella and Khadeja, b) because… I don’t know, I’m like… teaching you shit, or something…

WHY I DON’T WANT THEM TO JUST BE WORKSHOPS:

1. Every workshop I’ve been to has bright lights, things to distract me and I often get distracted by shiny clothes, how many times the ‘teacher’ uses the word ‘actually,’ and the seam of my jeans. Heh (side note: previous sentence was a really good example of why the Oxford Comma is a useful tool…)

2. I don’t know about you, but every experience thus far in my adult life that has brought reason to ‘celebrate’, there has been some form of alcohol involved. Always. DONT ASK ME WHY. This isn’t a blog about the history of alcohol consumption. It’s a blog about sex and body and relationships and all that junk that is more fun than history. Celebration = booze. Unless you are in AA or are allergic… It’s a general human tradition. A rite of passage occurs and we fuck up our minds to see the world differently. Being naked and happy and accepting with each other seems like a damn good reason to celebrate, if you ask me.

3. Parties are fun. It’s how we bond. We drink, loosen our tongues, pour out all of our secrets to each other, and now we are best friends. It’s just how it works. For some reason, we become closer when we let go of inhibition, are slightly vulnerable and get chatty. And naked.

The above reasons are why there will continue to be alcohol provided at our Body Pride Workshop Party’s.

I am no Sexual Education God (…yet). I don’t meditate every day, I don’t read as much as I should, I don’t know how to orgasm with my mind (JEEZE CAITLIN. Seriously?! You don’t know how to orgasm with your MIND?! WTF is wrong with you!), I’ve done stupid things, I have stupid stories, I’ve done drugs and smoked cigarettes and had sex with people I didn’t want to have sex with. And these reasons, my darlings, are exactly why you should come and hang out with me in the buff.

This is where it gets all deep and weird and when my small amount of meditation and spiritual texts actually come into play:

It doesn’t matter.

Just let go, and let it be.

And, from the wise tattoo I got when I was probably far too young, spontaneous and silly to be getting tattoo’s (nothing has changed…), “Love and do what you will.”

Eh. There it is.

Now come get naked and party with us.