Very rarely will I write a post about a singular person… In fact, unless it is relevant to a point I am making, I avoid mentioning the men I have interacted with. But something a little bizarre happened last night.
I was sitting around a table with 3 girls from Toronto (we were in Newfoundland, somehow we all managed to find each other through Toronto-vibes) and we are talking about bad dates. I mention one in which I had to fake an emergency phone call from his bathroom because he was just so insanely self-important and boring. A friend tells her story of a first date taking her home to a Middle Eastern family celebration with the title of his ‘girlfriend’… And then I remember, Justin.
I used to work at a 24-hour diner downtown. I used to work night shifts at this diner. One Friday night, I got off work at around 5 AM. At this time in the day, having worked a double-shift, you want nothing more than to go home and sleep. That is all. Still in my work garb, doused in ketchup, toast crumbs and shame, I am waiting for the night bus at Yonge and College. The sun is rising and I am falling asleep while standing, when there walks up to me this guy:
Yes, I find myself face-to-face with something that seems to have escaped a Japanese cartoon. He is bouncing towards me with a MacDonalds milkshake in hand, and at that precise moment in which someone has the opportunity to no longer have a place your life, JustIn Credible turns and says to me:
“What would you do if some cute guy came up to you and told you you were pretty?”
I stare at him, not only recognizing that everything about him has walked out of the first half of “The Game; The Secret Society of Pick-Up Artists” (a book that actually has decent pointers for socially uncomfortable men, and then becomes increasingly sexist in the second half…) and dumbfounded by the fact that anyone could be hitting on anyone at 5 in the morning… Except in love stories, which is the only reason I reply to him:
“I dunno… High-five him, I guess.”
Of course, Justing raises his hand waiting for me to high-five him. He continues to ramble on about dinosaurs – I don’t really recall because it was 5 in the morning and I wanted to face plant into a pillow but my bus wasn’t coming. The next thing I know Justin, just as any romantic anime character would, holds out his hand to me and says “Want to go for an adventure?”
Now, whether I take his hand or not is irrelevant to this post, but I will at least tell you what was going through my mind. Two things:
1. This guy is going to take me somewhere so we can get it on.
2. There is a 2% chance that I am currently partaking in someone’s spontaneous life decision to connect with a stranger/live out a dramatic romance. And I could hold on to the idea that JustIn Credible wants to break into a building, run the stairs to the top and watch the sunrise while we hold hands…
I will leave you at a cliffhanger.
This all wouldn’t be particularly odd if I hadn’t told my close friend about it a few days afterwards. And upon mention of ‘very good looking Asian anime guy’, she asked me what his name was. Turns out, only two months ago, the same guy had asked for her phone number at a subway station.
Of course, her and I have a good chuckle and think that we both must be super good-looking for the same guy to pick us BOTH up.
And then, about a year later as I sit in a restaurant in St. John’s, Newfoundland, talking to 3 Toronto-based females, TWO out of the THREE had also been picked up by the same guy with extremely random and seemingly creative pick-up lines (right from Neil Strauss’s ‘The Game’).
This is a shout-out to JustIn Credible (his Facebook name, of course. Given to me by one of the most recently discovered hit-on lady’s). Not because you seem to come onto everyone with a vagina, but because you have made yourself ‘Barney Stinson’ Lengendary. I honestly have to give kudos to a guy who has made himself known to so many females that we can connect over wine in another province with stories of your attempts to get into our pants. If you read this, JustIn – contact me, I would like to interview you.
If you are a female who has been hit on by a lean, muscular, tattooed Asian guy named Justin, email me with your story. I would seriously like to know just how many women I know have been swooned by this fellow.