No, We Aren’t Having Orgies, Thank You Very Much

This is a general, random posting on the current ongoings and fumblings of the Body Pride Workshop Parties.

First of all: There are no orgies. Trust me. I am an instigator of orgies and this is neither the place nor the time for girl orgies to be occurring. Sorry to all of the hopeful and creative sexual minds of men and women.

Second of all: Some of the feedback we have gotten so far,

“Ladies, thank you for such a fantastic night last night. It was so empowering hearing all your stories and learning from them. I will always remember that party. It was a joy meeting you all and I really hope our paths cross again in the future. I woke up this morning feeling (a little hung over) but also so refreshed and feeling like I learned so much about myself. My roommates should get ready because I feel like I will be doing a whole lot more naked dancing around the apartment.”

“‎I’m rating this as a 10! It was so refreshing to be exposed to girls in their ABSOLUTE truest form! I felt like I was in one of those Dove Real Women ad’s but like a reality version hahahaha. It’s really great to be around real people with real stories, because everyone’s sharing real stories that you can probably relate to in some way or another. It’s was so liberating! Feeling a slight boost of naked confidence now.”

And most influential to my Superwoman ego:

“you’ve enlightened me in a way my therapy and group counseling never did.”

Now. About the booze, because this seem to come up a lot. These ‘parties’ are workshops in the sense that you walk away having gained/learned/grown or whatever have you. It’s hard not to. You are experiencing something that you have not experienced before. And who knows, maybe you grew up in a nudist colony and have absolutely no problem hanging out in the nood with your BFF’s. BUT, this party will be a new experience for you regardless, because: a) I’m the host, and the creation of these parties has developed from the creative, spiritual, and ‘my-mother-trained-me-to-host-properly’ part of my mind – as well as the colorful and comfortable right brains of Stella and Khadeja, b) because… I don’t know, I’m like… teaching you shit, or something…

WHY I DON’T WANT THEM TO JUST BE WORKSHOPS:

1. Every workshop I’ve been to has bright lights, things to distract me and I often get distracted by shiny clothes, how many times the ‘teacher’ uses the word ‘actually,’ and the seam of my jeans. Heh (side note: previous sentence was a really good example of why the Oxford Comma is a useful tool…)

2. I don’t know about you, but every experience thus far in my adult life that has brought reason to ‘celebrate’, there has been some form of alcohol involved. Always. DONT ASK ME WHY. This isn’t a blog about the history of alcohol consumption. It’s a blog about sex and body and relationships and all that junk that is more fun than history. Celebration = booze. Unless you are in AA or are allergic… It’s a general human tradition. A rite of passage occurs and we fuck up our minds to see the world differently. Being naked and happy and accepting with each other seems like a damn good reason to celebrate, if you ask me.

3. Parties are fun. It’s how we bond. We drink, loosen our tongues, pour out all of our secrets to each other, and now we are best friends. It’s just how it works. For some reason, we become closer when we let go of inhibition, are slightly vulnerable and get chatty. And naked.

The above reasons are why there will continue to be alcohol provided at our Body Pride Workshop Party’s.

I am no Sexual Education God (…yet). I don’t meditate every day, I don’t read as much as I should, I don’t know how to orgasm with my mind (JEEZE CAITLIN. Seriously?! You don’t know how to orgasm with your MIND?! WTF is wrong with you!), I’ve done stupid things, I have stupid stories, I’ve done drugs and smoked cigarettes and had sex with people I didn’t want to have sex with. And these reasons, my darlings, are exactly why you should come and hang out with me in the buff.

This is where it gets all deep and weird and when my small amount of meditation and spiritual texts actually come into play:

It doesn’t matter.

Just let go, and let it be.

And, from the wise tattoo I got when I was probably far too young, spontaneous and silly to be getting tattoo’s (nothing has changed…), “Love and do what you will.”

Eh. There it is.

Now come get naked and party with us.

One thought on “No, We Aren’t Having Orgies, Thank You Very Much

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