A Quicky: Naked Persons Ponderings

It has been a tumultuous roller-coaster of awesome.

My mother feels differently…

So much naked.

But, of all the people who have come and gone and had a gander at this here said blog, and specifically particular post in which I am in the buff, the impact has been heavily positive. And this, and only this, is what I hope to send out into the world.

“If we all saw each others nakedness, we could just get on with so much living…”

– A 30-something male commenter.

All you weinerheads want something from me. And, as an aspiring information provider, I will do my darnedest to give it to you… Falling short of actually having sex with you… Unless the circumstances arise.

There is much to be talked about (which ultimately requires me to turn this into my full-time, unpaid, job), but I’d like to answer one question I seem to be getting asked a lot: How do you feel about ‘___________’ seeing you naked though?!

Insert: Co-workers

Yeah. That happened. For the next week, every day I walked into work there were a new set of eyes leering at me. It doesn’t help that I work at a diner (they call themselves a ‘restaurant’… yeah… sure) and the kitchen staff all come from various parts of India and have heavy accents and ten kids. So, after word got round, and now that everyone has an iPhone, the entire staff was well aware of what I look like naked. Even though I specifically asked my male co-workers not to mention it to the manager (who they often go drinking with), lets be serious. It’s the internet. People are gunna see what you want to avoid showing them. So I just gave a sleazy smile, raised an eyebrow and walked away.

Insert: Customers

It just so happens that working everyday allows for the occurrence of ‘regulars’ who eventually ask what is you do besides carrying heavy plates and dealing with Toronto’s best found gems. And there are times when I try and dodge the question by just saying ‘I write.’ And I don’t even know why I do this seeing as the next question is ALWAYS: “What do you write about?” And there goes that awesome cover story, Caitlin. Anyhow, you try saying you have a sex blog without anyone asking what the name of your website is. It just doesn’t work. Sex brings people together. A million dollars says that if I told them I had a blog about the effects of hydro-oxychloride on the grass in Egypt, no one would ever ask what the link was. My ‘regulars’ are adults and either ignore what they’ve seen, high-five me, or never come back to the ‘restaurant’ again.

Insert: Family members

My mothers side, who have all stewed in a good dose of religion in their childhoods, do not know. Or if they do, they aren’t saying anything. I’m trying not to give my Babi a heart attack. My mother, after having accepted that it was happening, just begged that I didn’t go on to show my vulva off to the whole wide world of the internet (who knows, Mom).

My father is a special type of human being in which he is vaguely aware of what is going on outside his immediate arm length unless it is concerning him winning the lottery. His reaction, if he had one would be: “Look. We’re all monkeys.”

When it comes down to it, we all have naked bodies. OH MY GAWD.

I know, right!?

Each of us is unique, but take away all the particulars and we’s have all got a fleshy self under those layers of cotton. A fleshy self that we had no say in how it turned out. All we have been responsible for is how we treat the body we have been given (intake of food stuffs, physical movement, orgasm supply, etc). So. Get naked. Is what I have to say about that.

Less hairy monkeys. That's all.

One thought on “A Quicky: Naked Persons Ponderings

  1. You’re a brave lady. I couldn’t do what you’re doing, here’s hoping that ‘___________’ seeing you naked doesn’t cause you too much trouble!

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