And so. It has begun.
The epic Body Pride parties are underway.
Last night I met with Stella May, a lovely, young, pro-sexy chiquita who contacted me about holding naked events the day after I posted my naked body on the internet, “Will girls send in their own pics or is there going to be a happy naked girl party with lots of cameras?” And the lightbulb started flashing like my brain was in the middle of an 80’s rave.
THAT IS A WONDERFUL IDEA!!”
I do not use acronyms lightly.
The visions of slightly emulating the whole concept of the Bodysex workshop was titillating and the excitement without boundary.
And so the women convened. As well as Stella and myself, my younger, empowering eco-sister, Lauren and a mutual friend of ours, a curvy, insightful young thing excited to be part of this adventure, Natasza.
And of course:
The night began with the biggest question: How do we approach nudity?
There was the ‘giving them space’ option, Body Pride guests would be given a small towel, escorted to the washroom and be encouraged to remove all of their clothes and use the towel only when they felt they needed (and to sit on our couch…).
This was almost immediately nixed because of the associated shame, guilt and privacy that is ridden beneath ‘discretion’ – go to into a private room to do a private action. And this is not what we are promoting.
So then was the ‘we could wait until everyone arrived, set a ten minute timer, and on your mark, get set, go! GET NEKKID’, and everyone would be under the belief that getting undressed at this time was non-optional.
This was also nixed. When we are dealing with so much vulnerability and trying to create a really warm and positive environment, the last thing we want is for our guests to feel anxious, awaiting the climax they know is bound to come.
And then we just realized: the power of a group. How inclined would you feel, if, out of three people, you were the only one wearing clothes?
This sat well with everyone – not in any sense that we are subconsciously trying to alter your mind, but to kind have that ‘aha!’ moment in which it is realized that ‘the norm’ can be changed. You’d feel vulnerable and uncomfortable if everyone was clothed and you were running around the Eaton Centre starkers (unless you are an exhibitionist with a purpose), and the opposite happens when more people are naked then they are clothed. So. I just got naked. And so did Stella. And Lauren. And Natasza.
Now – we kept our panties on out of respect for the furniture – a speed bump that we have since resolved, so when I say ‘naked’, know the intention was there, but the planning was faulty.
The next question was the issue of alcohol consumption.
It is very clear that I am drinking white wine in my Body Pride photo. At this point, clarity is important:
I was not smashed when these photos were taken. I was not drinking when I made the decision to post nude photos on the internet for everyone to have access to them. I had an intention, I planned on going through with that intention, I just like wine. It is an integral part of how I experience food, life, pleasure. Sure – I can get sloshed:
But I am also completely capable of having a couple glasses of wine without it influencing the way I choose to live. Stella, also a lover of whiskey, beer and red wine, was on my side.
Whereas Lauren and Natasza didn’t necessarily think wine or any alcoholic beverage should have any place in relation to Body Pride.
After talking about it at length, we came to understand that different girls and women will understand alcohol consumption differently. Someone like me: a proud lush, will understand having a glass of wine as a way to enhance relaxation and the way I understand how it is to feel ‘sexy’. Whereas someone who may have grown up as alcoholics or with them, might see the consumption of alcohol as self-defeating and backwards.
But this is a party. A Body Pride party. The whole concept is to have fun being naked and let go of fear, anxiety, shame and guilt in relation to the body. At parties, when people have fun, they do drink at their will. We then agreed to provide the option for our guests to indulge in one or two glasses of wine if they would like. No pressure on anyone to drink anything, and no negative reactions towards those that DO choose to gulp down some liquid courage.
The conversation afterwards darted between how we felt about our own bodies and our histories with masturbation. It is so wonderful to be around women who are given the time and space and love to talk about things that perhaps were not approached in youth or relationships or even with themselves.
We sat and watched bits and pieces of the Dodson and Ross Bodysex workshop, and came to the conclusion that although the documentary footage is incredibly insightful and enlightening and wonderful, that as young females promoting the right to love and appreciate ones body, none of us, especially me, have the tools and education and life experience to walk a group of women through a ‘genital show-and-tell’ or a group masturbation.
We also agreed that having your photo taken and posted on the internet is not a necessary step for the Body Pride party to be a healing experience. Just being there with other women will do the job. For those of you who are interested in attending: having your Body Pride photo taken will totally be an option, if you would like to pursue it – even just to see what you look like in the buff.
The experience with just the four of us was so positive and wonderful that it was agreed that we would hold one get together a month of about 6 – 10 women.
Unfortunately I live in Toronto – so this is only going to be a local occurrence. If you are reading this blog and live in Toronto, and would like to come party naked with me (and are female…), friend me on Facebook!